Magic and Manners

A friend of mine asked me to review and edit an article that he wrote for a local magic club's newsletter. The topic was manners and etiquette for magicians. This led me to thinking about my own views on things magicians do to other magicians that irritate me, and the biggest one for me is someone asking "How'd you do that?"

Now with laypeople, usually it's just an immediate response and you can take it as a compliment. However with magicians, it's always an actual request (if not a demand) to know how you accomplished your feat. Now I understand that in magic we all feel like we're insiders and thus are entitled to know the secrets to things. I mean, we already know a lot of secrets about a lot of tricks. However, just because you're a magician, doesn't mean you have any right to know how I did something.

Now, if you do want to know, and you actually want me to tell you, there is a polite way to go about it.

1. Don't act entitled. Yes I'm a magician. Yes you're a magician. No, that does not make us peers. I'm not obligated to share anything with you.
   
2. Complement the effect.If you're impressed by something, let me know. It really sucks doing an amazing effect to just be met by blank stares of other magicians trying to reverse engineer what I just spent hours practicing.
   
3.  Express interest.Don't say "teach me how to do that". That's a sure fire way for me to not tell you anything or, if it's been a long day, to teach it to you in the most convoluted way possible while adding unnecessary sleights and moves designed to make you forget as soon as the explanation is over.
   
   If you want to know, say something like "That was great. I'd love to learn that someday if you have the time." While this still presupposes that I will teach it to you, it does so in a way that expresses your interest in learning the trick while not demanding it.
   
4. Ask.
   If you're at a loss of what to say or how to phrase it, simply ask. A question such as "would you mind showing me how to do that?" neither presupposes cooperation nor demands anything. It is a simple, honest question.
   
5. Don't get angry.If I decline your invitation to share something with you, don't get angry and belligerent. All that's going to do is ensure that I never a)teach you anything and b)never show you another effect.
   

So that's really it. Be polite and don't assume that the person is going to teach you. Remember, just because we're both magicians doesn't mean that we are peers or colleagues.

~Cameron Rivers